Spiritual & Religious Abuse Safety Assessment Tool
When you're discerning what feels aligned, healthy, and supportive.
The following assessment tool was inspired by The RC’s Spiritual Power Inventory and created by Alexia Christopher, Alex May, Annais Rojas, Marlon Brown, and Megan Purdie for exclusive use by the Reclamation Collective.
Disclaimer: Please note that this is not a formal assessment and is intended as a tool to spark further consideration of one's spiritual practice. The examples are not intended to be interpreted verbatim but rather to serve as language that may resonate with readers and prompt them to further investigate their individual experiences.
Spiritual Abuse and Religious Trauma
The term spiritual abuse came before religious trauma. In the 1990s, early research on spiritual abuse mostly focused on harmful leaders or unhealthy relationships within a church or religious group.
More recently, scholars began using the term religious trauma to describe a wider range of experiences. Spiritual abuse can be one cause of religious trauma, but religious trauma goes beyond just harmful leaders. Either can have occurred in non-religious or spiritual spaces — you don’t have to have set foot in a religious house to be impacted.
Religious trauma includes harm caused by entire systems—like communities, institutions, and belief systems. It also includes both the harm someone experiences while they are part of a religious group and the challenges or distress that can come from questioning beliefs or leaving that community.
What is Spiritual Abuse in Action?
This tool is divided into 4 sections:
Personal safety and autonomy
Leadership behavior
Community culture and practices
Internal warning signs
Each section includes example flags to help you notice patterns in your spiritual life:
green flags 🟢 (signs for safety)
yellow flags 🟡 (areas to monitor)
red flags 🔴 (signs of spiritual abuse)
If feelings come up for you when reading the following content, please contact a safe, understanding friend or a mental health professional. No single statement determines safety or wrongdoing. What matters is the overall pattern of behavior. If this process feels disorienting or confusing, it’s OK to pause and come back to it when you feel more balanced.
Section 1: Personal Safety & Autonomy
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I feel free to make my own choices about relationships, finances, career, and spiritual practices.
I can say “no” without fear of punishment or shame.
I can take breaks or step back from the community when I need rest or clarity.
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I sometimes feel pressured to act in ways that don’t feel fully comfortable.
I worry that disagreeing might cause tension or judgment.
I feel guilty when prioritizing my needs.
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I am told that obedience is a requirement for spiritual growth.
I’m discouraged from seeking outside help (therapy, family counseling, etc.).
I fear spiritual punishment or social consequences if I make my own decision.
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“Your doubts show a lack of discipleship.”
“Be careful talking to outsiders; they won’t understand.”
“You need to obey me.”
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Do I feel more empowered or more confused after spiritual interactions?
When I express hesitation, am I met with understanding or with pressure?
Do I feel like my intuition is welcomed or dismissed?
Section 3: Community Cultures & Practices
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The community encourages self-trust, individuality, and cultural expression.
Healthy boundaries are respected (physical, emotional, financial).
Diversity of thought and background is valued.
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Some members are treated better than others.
People who leave are talked about negatively or in mysterious terms.
There is pressure to conform to norms without explanation.
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The community uses fear, shame, or exclusion as tools of discipline.
Members are isolated from outside information.
Relationships outside of the community are discouraged, sometimes vilified.
The group discourages therapy, medical care, or outside support.
Cultural identity or ancestral practices are belittled or erased.
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“If you were truly committed, you’d give more time/money.”
“Your cultural traditions aren’t spiritually advanced.”
“People who leave this group always fall apart.”
“If you leave, you are no longer protected from harm or even hell.”
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Do I feel accepted as I am, or am I slowly erasing parts of myself to fit in?
Does the community celebrate growth or does it demand conformity?
Section 2: Leadership Behavior
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Leaders welcome questions and feedback.
Leaders admit when they’re wrong or unsure.
Leadership is accountable to elders, boards, or community structures.
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Leaders sometimes speak as if they have special access to truth.
Leaders discourage questioning “too much.”
Decision-making feels one-sided but not openly abusive.
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Leaders claim divine authority that cannot be questioned.
Leaders shame or punish people who express doubt.
Leaders use spiritual language to control, intimidate, or dismiss concerns.
Leaders demand money, loyalty, or personal information in ways that feel coercive.
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“Questioning me is questioning God.”
“Your doubts are a spiritual attack.”
“God showed/ told me this about you.”
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Do leaders embody humility, or do they demand reverence?
Are leaders transparent, or does everything feel hidden or controlled?
Section 4: Internal Warning Signs (How Your Body & Spirit Respond)
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I feel calm, safe, and nourished after community gatherings.
My spirituality encourages self-compassion and growth.
I have space to breathe, reflect, and choose.
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I often feel anxious before or after interactions with leaders.
I second-guess myself constantly.
I feel conflicted but can’t pinpoint why.
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I feel fear, dread, or panic around spiritual expectations.
I feel disconnected from myself, my intuition, or my cultural identity.
I feel ashamed of who I am or afraid to voice my truth.
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“Your body is sinful.
“Die to yourself.”
“Your heart is deceptive.”
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What sensations arise in my body when engaging with this community?
Do I feel expanded or restricted?
**When asking these questions, take a moment to calm your body and notice what comes up for you.
The Difference between Boundaries & Requests
Boundaries and requests are often misunderstood, especially when they’re expressed as personal thoughts or beliefs.
Requests guide other people’s behavior.
Example: “Please don't invite me to spiritual or religious events that are not inclusive.”
When you make a request, it’s up to others whether they choose to honor it.
Boundaries guide your behavior.
Example: “I will not join spiritual or religious services that aren't inclusive.”
Boundaries are up to you to uphold. If someone crosses a boundary, you decide how to respond.
When your beliefs or lifestyle shift, both boundaries and requests can help you create relationships and spaces that feel supportive and aligned with your values. Both requests and boundaries are valid forms of protection.